Tang Dynasty: Slacking off in the Imperial Kitchen, exposed by Si Zi

Chapter 16: In the sweltering heat, a bowl of cold noodles is a wonderful thing!

The cicadas clung to the tree branches, their mournful cries adding to the restlessness of this summer in the tenth year of the Zhenguan era.

The sun was scorching, and the red walls and glazed tiles of the imperial city were steaming, the air distorting and rising. The flowers and plants in the imperial garden were wilted, not to mention the people.

The backyard of the imperial kitchen was quiet at this moment.

Su Mu, shirtless and with a fine layer of sweat on his strong upper body, was squatting in front of a large earthenware jar by the well, busy with something.

The water in the vat was murky and whitish, and he was repeatedly kneading a soft, limp thing in it with both hands.

"It's so hot... I'm melting..."

A weak groan came from the doorway.

Little Sizi shuffled in, her arms hanging limply at her sides like a dried-out eggplant. Her once spirited little pigtails now hung limply.

Li Lizhi followed behind, waving a round fan in her hand. The hair on her forehead was stuck together with sweat, and most of her usual dignified demeanor had evaporated in the sweltering heat.

"Brother..."

As soon as Little Sizi entered the woodshed, he felt the coolness inside, a few degrees lower than outside, and immediately came to life. He plopped down on Su Mu's back, asking, "Are you playing in the mud?"

Su Mu didn't stop what he was doing, and nudged her with his elbow: "Stop messing around, you're covered in flour water."

"Is this what you meant by delicious food?"

Li Lizhi closed her fan, leaned closer to examine the vat of white liquid, and frowned slightly. "Washing dough in water? Is this edible?"

"Long hair, short on brains."

Su Mu tossed the remaining clump of gluten into another basin, then changed the water and continued rubbing. "This is called washing your face. If you want to cool down and whet your appetite, you have to rely on this stuff."

Little Sizi no longer felt hot; he found the white water fun.

While Su Mu turned around to get something, she plunged her two chubby little hands into the jar with a "plop".

The cool water washed over her wrists, making her squint in comfort.

"Hehe, catching fish!"

The little girl stirred the bottom of the vat with both hands, then grabbed a handful of the settled flour batter, which was sticky and slippery.

"You rascal! You're dirty!" Li Lizhi was about to reach out to pull him away.

Xiao Sizi just managed to pull her hand out, and the slap, covered in thick white fluid, traced a perfect arc in the air, whether from a loss of balance or intentional.

"Snapped!"

A crisp sound.

A glaringly white five-finger mark instantly appeared on Li Lizhi's pretty face.

It was positioned perfectly, covering the right cheek without any deviation.

The air freezes.

Su Mu had just returned carrying two cucumbers when he saw this scene. His lips curled up into a wide smile, and in the end, he couldn't hold back and burst out laughing.

"You know what, that slap... was quite artistic."

Li Lizhi froze, her eyes wide open.

The sticky, wet sensation on her cheeks gave her goosebumps all over her body.

"Li! Ming! Da!"

Little Sizi, realizing he'd caused trouble, quickly hid his two little hands, covered in white paste, behind his back and shrank back, shouting, "No, it wasn't me! My hands moved by themselves!"

After saying that, she slipped behind Su Mu and wiped her dirty hands clean on Su Mu's trouser legs.

Su Mu looked down at the two white handprints on his pants: "..."

Well, everyone's injured.

"Alright, stop howling."

Su Mu tossed two cucumbers to Li Lizhi, who was still struggling to breathe, and said, "Go wash your face and shred the cucumbers while you're at it. You've practiced your knife skills for so long, shredding them shouldn't be a problem, right?"

Li Lizhi, seething with anger, glared fiercely at Xiao Sizi, then glared angrily at Su Mu, before grabbing a cucumber and heading towards the water vat.

That figure from behind exuded a murderous aura.

Su Mu was not idle either.

The washed flour slurry has settled and separated into layers. Pour off the clear water on top, leaving only the thick layer of flour slurry at the bottom.

Set up a large pot and boil water.

Find two flat-bottomed round iron plates that were originally used to hold dishes, and brush them with a thin layer of cooked oil.

Scoop a spoonful of batter into the pan and rotate your wrist to spread the batter evenly across the bottom of the pan.

Float the iron pan into the boiling water.

Cover it.

In just a few dozen breaths, the lid was lifted.

The originally white paste turned into a translucent round cake with large bubbles.

They plunged the plate and the pancake into cold water.

Su Mu reached out and gently peeled off the edge, and a thin, translucent, and chewy sheet of dough fell off intact.

This is liangpi (cold skin noodles).

Next comes the gluten.

Those honeycomb-like things that I just washed, steamed in a steamer, and cut into small cubes, look soft and porous, and they absorb the juices perfectly.

"How amazing!" Little Sizi stopped hiding and lay on the stove, standing on tiptoe to look. "It's turned into transparent paper!"

"This is called liangpi (cold skin noodles)." Su Mu raised his knife and cut the stack of noodles into long strips of uniform width in an instant.

Li Lizhi had also washed her face and brought over a plate of cucumber strips cut into uneven thicknesses. Seeing the glistening mess on the cutting board, her anger subsided by half.

"The soul comes next."

Su Mu took out a large bowl from the cabinet.

Inside were two kinds of chili powder, coarse and fine, made from Qin chilies that he had specially dried and crushed, fragrant but not dry. He also added a handful of white sesame seeds and a few peppercorns.

Heat oil in a pan.

The oil must be rapeseed oil, heated until it smokes, then turned off the heat and let it cool.

This step is the most crucial; if the oil temperature is too high, the chili peppers will burn and become bitter; if the oil temperature is too low, they won't release their aroma and will become mushy.

Su Mu counted silently in his mind.

It's now!

"Sizzle—!"

Pour the hot oil into the bowl.

The sound sent chills down your spine.

An intensely aromatic, caramelized scent bursts forth, red oil bubbles swirl in the bowl, and white sesame seeds dance in the air.

The aroma was extremely aggressive, with a slightly pungent spiciness that broke through the oppressive heat of the afternoon.

Gudong!

Li Lizhi's throat moved slightly.

My appetite, which had been suppressed by the summer heat, completely surrendered to the aroma of this chili oil.

Su Mu took three large, rough porcelain bowls.

Grab a handful of sliced ​​cold noodles and place them at the bottom.

Spread a layer of gluten that has absorbed water.

Sprinkle with cucumber shreds cut by Li Lizhi.

Add a spoonful of garlic water, a spoonful of balsamic vinegar, and a little salt water.

At last.

Su Mu scooped up a spoonful of bright red, glistening chili oil and poured it into the bowl.

Red oil, white skin, green melon, yellow gluten.

The colors are so striking they're dazzling!

"Chopsticks."

Su Mu pushed the bowl in front of the two of them.

Little Sizi couldn't wait any longer. Without needing to be taught, he grabbed his chopsticks and stirred the contents of the bowl haphazardly.

The bowl of plain food was instantly soaked in chili oil, with each strand of cold noodles covered in glistening chili oil and fine sesame seeds.

"Awoo!"

The little girl took a big slurp.

The cold noodles are smooth and tender, with a unique chewy texture.

The moment you bite down, a burst of four flavors—sour, spicy, fragrant, and salty—explodes in your mouth at the same time!

The vinegar and spiciness, in particular, are a perfect remedy for heatstroke, instantly making one's mouth water.

"Hiss—ha!"

Little Sizi stuck out her tongue from the spiciness, her face instantly turning red, but her hands didn't stop moving as she stuffed another piece of gluten soaked in broth into her mouth.

When you bite into the gluten, the hot and sour soup inside bursts out with a "sizzle," filling your mouth with a delicious aroma.

"So spicy! So refreshing!"

The little girl breathed on her face as she worked diligently, and soon a fine layer of sweat appeared on her forehead.

Li Lizhi looked at the bright red bowl and hesitated at first.

She usually eats a light diet, and this kind of oily and spicy food...

But seeing how much my sister was enjoying her food, and with that tangy aroma wafting into my nose...

She picked up a few pieces and carefully put them into her mouth.

It wasn't as spicy as I imagined.

The unique aroma of Qin peppers overpowers the spiciness, complementing the tangy flavor of aged vinegar and the cool, smooth texture of the cold noodles.

In that instant, Li Lizhi felt as if all the pores on her body had opened up.

The sweltering heat that had been trapped inside my body was released as sweat along with the sour and spicy flavor.

Transparent!

It's so clear and transparent!

Li Lizhi disregarded all decorum and began to chew on the crisp cucumber strips mixed with the chewy cold noodles.

Only this kind of food deserves to be called summer food!

"call--!"

Li Lizhi breathed a sigh of relief, feeling much lighter.

Su Mu squatted on the threshold, holding a bowl, and ate with slurping noises.

"How about it? This is the real magic weapon for cooling off in the summer, much better than those bitter herbal teas from the Imperial Hospital, right?"

Xiao Sizi shoveled the last bit of cucumber shreds from the bottom of the bowl into her mouth, then licked the red oil from her lips with lingering satisfaction.

"That's much better! That old doctor is wicked; he only gives me black water to drink."

She touched her round little belly and suddenly remembered her father, who was still reviewing memorials in the Ganlu Hall.

Poor Dad, he has to work in that stuffy room on such a hot day, he probably doesn't have an appetite.

"Brother..."

Little Si jumped off the stool, tugged at Su Mu's sleeve, and blinked her big eyes. "I want to bring a little bit for Father, just a little bit..."

Li Lizhi put down her bowl, took out a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from her nose, and looked at Su Mu expectantly.

If Father could have a bite of this, he would surely feel much better.

Su Mu shook his head without even thinking.

"I can't bring it."

"Why, duck?" the little rhinoceros cried out anxiously. "I'll run fast! I definitely won't spill it!"

"It's not a matter of whether or not to seduce."

Su Mu pointed to the empty bowl, "Liangpi (cold skin noodles) is delicate. Once the seasoning is mixed in, don't even mention running fast, just carrying it for a few steps will make the noodles mushy and tasteless."

"That bowl of mushy porridge will be so sticky and disgusting, would you dare feed it to your dad?"

Su Mu threw the bowl into the basin of water.

"This stuff is best eaten fresh after it's been mixed. Once it's taken off the stove, even in the time it takes to drink a cup of tea, the taste will change."

When Little Sizi heard that it was porridge, his face immediately fell.

She imagined that bright red lump of mud, and indeed... it was a bit embarrassing to present.

"Then...then Father won't make it to the seventh month?" The little girl was a little disappointed.

"Not necessarily."

Su Mu slumped back in his recliner, idly fanning himself with a palm-leaf fan. "One day I'll trick your dad... cough, invite him over, and stir a bowl of soup right under his nose, wouldn't that solve everything?"

Li Lizhi's eyes lit up.

Were they tricked into coming?

No, please come over here.

This seems like a good idea.

However... looking at Su Mu's arrogant demeanor, and then thinking about his father's stern nature.

If these two large Buddha statues collide, the roof of the imperial kitchen will likely be destroyed.