son-in-law

Chapter 650 Ocean (3th Birthday Essay)

Chapter 650 Ocean (30th Birthday Essay)

Today I am 30 years old.

As usual, I write an essay on my birthday every year.In Li Zhinian, what should I write, as of this morning, I still have no idea, it's not that I have nothing to write, there is really too much to write.Not long ago I told people that when people look at themselves when they are ten years old, you are the self when you are ten years old. When you look at yourself at the age of 20, you are the self at the age of 20. When you look at yourself when you are thirty, you will find that you are ten years old. My 20-year-old self, my 30-year-old self, and my [-]-year-old self all stand together.They left so many traces that they were inseparable.

Then I have 30 years to write about.

In the past, I tried to write something light-hearted or pragmatic, which was not difficult to understand, but after thinking about it, let’s start today and write something metaphysical and fake.

Speaking of the three concepts, combined, maybe most of me, there are some weird, second-year things during the period, if you read it, you will understand the reason.

One:

At the end of 2014, I went to Beijing Luxun Academy of Literature to study for two months. In one class, Professor Dai Jinhua from Peking University came to give a lecture. During this period, Professor Dai Jinhua mentioned a concept. She said that in the process of the origin of writing Here, Chinese characters are expressive, while European characters are expressive.This is the difference between the two.

Ms. Dai Jinhua did not study language at Peking University, she studied film, mass media, etc. This concept should be mentioned because the content has been slightly touched, and it is just a random talk.I have heard about this concept in the past. After the lecture, there is a question time as usual. When I first arrived at Luyuan, I raised my hand to ask questions. The question is probably: the basic meaning of the existence of words is to convey thinking, that is, the invisible thoughts in my mind. Realized, passed on to others, so that others can receive it. In "Three-Body" and many science fiction works, it has also been described that the entire group of the ant family is ruled by a mother, and it is believed that this is a biological evolution to a high level. One way to point out that our text expresses meaning directly with graphics, while Western text first converts the meaning into syllables, and then expresses the basic syllables with icons. After entering the brain, it is interpreted through a set of conventional methods. Go through one more process.The differences between the two developments, there are no objective factors, and the inevitability of development.

This question was a bit random, because it had nothing to do with Professor Dai Jinhua's course content, and he just picked a topic on the leftovers to make an extension. Professor Dai Jinhua was stunned for a moment, and then said: This may not be inevitable.

I asked: Could it be just an accidental difference?

She said: Well.

I have a lot of thoughts about this issue, but I will not discuss it here. The reason why I mention this matter is that this question seems random, but it is so important to me that I Turning in your head anytime, anywhere.

For me, the most attractive thing about language and writing is the transmission of thinking.

I'm 30 years old, I didn't go to university, I wrote online novels, and I haven't really been recognized by the society. Of course, I went to Luyuan to study and participated in several conferences. , my grades are only circulated in a small area, and I am just an author of online novels, but if you ask me seriously: "What exactly do you do?" I may answer: " I do the transmission, the transmission of ideas.”

"Bible.old testament.There is a myth in Genesis, which I have always liked. In ancient times, because human beings were not separated by language, they were extremely powerful and worked together. They built the Tower of Babel together, trying to seize the authority of God. God did not destroy them, but just let them all People began to speak different languages, and then human beings fell into mutual suspicion and war, and were never able to unite again, so the Tower of Babel collapsed.

This is really an extremely simple and profound philosophy. Almost all the differences and problems of human beings come from the opacity of each other's thinking.I wrote about the relationship between wild boars and morality in my 27-year-old essay. In the triangle of interest, morality, and deceit, deception comes from this, and a rich and colorful human world is born from this. All comedies and tragedies, all rules and status quo.

Language and writing are the most important way to complete human beings. They are used to convey the thoughts and intentions of others, and carry the wisdom of others. Whether it is the cognition of scientific laws or the perception of life, we can accumulate them through words and pass them on to others. For future generations, let them grow up quickly, and don't necessarily need to go through one by one. Therefore, when they experience the same challenges, they may make better choices and have a better life.

Human society has thus evolved.

When I was in my early 20s, I first encountered the concept of "words have limits, and it is impossible to express all thoughts" in Haruki Murakami's book. Ten years——What I have been thinking tirelessly is how to transform my thinking into words as accurate as possible. I discard the gorgeous and unnecessary tones that I don’t even understand, and leave simple branches, and then turn the leaves into Prosperity, and then pruning, such a reincarnation again and again.Now, as I continue to trim this tone, I am 30 years old.

Some people think my writing is good, others don't.Of course each has its reasons.

Second:

Tell me about my character.Personally, I have a huge character flaw.

Such character flaws arise from being educated in the wrong order and in the wrong frame.When I was enlightened, my grandfather taught me a very correct and honest way of thinking. Later, I read Lu Xun. When I was studying, I imitated Lu Xun’s style of writing in composition. My writing was not good, and the teacher said that I was not thinking well. Well, I wondered, I was criticizing bad things, so why am I the one with bad thoughts?After thinking about it, this is the initial disagreement and incompatibility-each of us has experienced these more or less.

Then I experienced an era of rapid change. A reader once said in a book review that I witnessed the afterglow of that era. Indeed, when I was young, I witnessed the afterglow of that era when the change was not yet drastic. , and then there were drastic changes, the impact of various concepts, and the worldview I established, but it was incompatible with this world.And then, due to family difficulties, I gave up university. When I gave up university, knowledge no longer had weight in my mind. Without weight, there was no awe. I dismantled everything at will, so all orthodox Knowledge is meaningless.

I often tell people that the so-called "meaning" comes from the "sense of ritual". When we played houses when we were young, everyone discussed in a serious manner how to arrange the dishes, how to sit, and how to feed.We sweep tombs on Qingming Festival, kneel down, how to kneel, kowtow several times-for pure materialists, do these have anything to do with ghosts and gods?No, they are only about us, and when we do so with all seriousness, it takes on the weight of "meaning".

In the simplest explanation: when we put a lot of effort into something, we will automatically convince ourselves in our hearts that what we do is meaningful.

So later, when some book friends who don't want to study come to me and ask me if they want to go to university or continue their studies, I will persuade them to continue, not all for knowledge, but more for them to enter society. Feeling their own sacrifices, feeling that weight, and they say to themselves, "I'm ready."

I entered the society when I was not well prepared, and then I lost all awe. I think that everything can be structured with basic logic, and my brain is still working. When I encounter something, I His brain will automatically go back thousands or even tens of thousands of years ago, constructing logic from the primitive society, and then push it to the present, looking for all the causes of this event. If he can find the reason, he will be able to past.As I said three years ago about the boar's story, the cause of morality.

For a while, I suspected that I might have some kind of mental illness called Asperger's syndrome. This type of patient uses logic to construct perceptual thinking. During the period when I was least good at communicating with people, I even tried to use logic to form A set of rules for talking to people...

Undoubtedly, I have tasted bitter fruit.

If there were only a few problems above, maybe I wouldn't be able to write things like I am now.I saw a sentence half a year ago, which is roughly like this: The most important quality of an excellent author is sensitivity. For some things, others have not felt pain yet, they are already in pain, and if they want to endure pain, they have to be humorous ...

I often tell people that I have no literary talent, but I probably have sensitive qualities.I sometimes see us born in the [-]s, who don’t know what to do after entering the society, changing our three views, distorting our spirit, struggling, no one knows what’s wrong with these, until one day—— Some people--see money and rights as the criterion for measuring everything, as the criterion of success, and they are constantly pursuing. Those who have achieved the pursuit feel dissatisfied, and always feel that something is missing. People begin to miss their youth. , Younger, it actually led to the popularity of a large number of "The Year in a Hurry", but looking back, even if money and power can't satisfy me, I have to continue to pursue it.It's a bit loud here, isn't it?

Sometimes when trying to deconstruct ourselves, deconstruct the entire human race, put it on the time of the entire earth or even the universe, and then see the wind and sand roll up, and in an accidental moment, draw a beautiful pattern, we generate so-called wisdom, we adapt to The world, changing the world, and finally destroying the world, will eventually perish... I can't find the meaning of eternal existence-this place seems to be secondary again, right?

If I thought about this when I was young, my three views were not yet complete, and it was indeed a secondary emotion that could be changed. When I was 30 years old, and I came back to this issue, it would be serious.

This passage may be about the ultimate nihilistic proposition, and I don’t really want to discuss it with others.Under normal circumstances, it is out of the list for the second time, and the shame is out of the table. I mention it, but also to enter the third point.

After stating these two points, let's go into the third point: talk about web articles.

I have written online articles for many years. Although when I went to Luyuan, I insisted that there is no distinction between literature and the Internet, but in fact, there is indeed.Some are called traditional literature and popular literature, and some are called elite literature and popular literature. Let us assume that there is such a division.

I write books very seriously, and I dare to say that to anyone so far.There have been dreams of being a writer—and there are still—but the definition of being a writer is a little different.

Two days ago, Hunan Province held the Sixth Young Writers Conference, which is said to be held every five years, but this time it took ten years. I went to attend, and happened to be interviewed by a reporter from Hunan Economic TV. Representative of Internet literature, when it comes to Internet literature, I said that today’s Internet literature may not be the future of literature, but it contains the most important link missing in traditional literature that is currently in trouble.

They are: attractiveness, persuasiveness.

I used to define literature, and I used to say this: traditional literature focuses on the exploration and speculation of self-spirituality, while network literature focuses on transmission and communication.

In this definition, traditional literature digs deep into the self. Its depth determines its height. Even if many people cannot understand it, people with high levels of thought can see it. They communicate at a very high level. , I don't think they are worthless, on the contrary, these ideas can be said to be the most shining treasures in human development, and I am convinced.

As for online literature, what we care more about research is how to convey something in our minds to the hearts of readers.In the years of web development, we have accumulated a lot of experience and techniques. Of course, there are good ones and bad ones, benign ones and bad ones.Internet literature, after all, is still a subject with mixed good and bad.

When I was studying in Luyuan, one day, I accidentally met a teacher on the road and talked about disagreements. The other teacher was a very good teacher, but he didn't know much about online literature, so he talked about some things.I seemed to say at the time: I have seen many authors who cannot make money and are forced by life. When they want to make money with writing, they will dive headlong into the most extreme direction compared to the past, and convert their original Speculation, all gave up.People go to extremes like this.

The other party said: But we do have many authors who persist in the downward trend of this society. They are not for money. They try their best to resist the influence of social atmosphere. Their speculations are important to society Very important, not without...

The first thought that popped into my mind at the time was: the impact of the reform and opening up in the past 30 years has led to a decline in spiritual civilization, and the impact on more than one billion people has been affected. Is it possible to say "I tried my best" to explain the past?Maybe there are such persistent authors, one or two are respectable, but isn’t it responsible for the weakness of the entire literary circle in the past 30 years?

Literature is the origin of spiritual civilization!

I dare not say.

In the interview the day before yesterday, I mentioned the best literature, by asking, what is the best literature, I actually don’t have a very specific concept, saying: it can really harmonize people’s spirits, when we say: " Your life should not be just for money and power." People will really believe that it can have real persuasion, it can entertain and teach, and affect the most people, instead of making people feel like they are singing High-profile, it can reshape the three views for a person, and can truly leave the experience of the predecessors to future generations...

I said something, but it was not so organized at the time, and I'm afraid I didn't see it on the news.

Technology will continue to develop. In technology, there is a difference between theoretical science and applied science. Theoretical science stands at the apex. It doesn't make much money, but it can win the Nobel Prize. When they make breakthroughs, applied science—we Everything in life can be derived.

The spirit does not develop substantially, and the peak of the spirit, or the state infinitely close to the peak, appeared thousands of years ago.Confucius said: At seventy, follow your heart's desire and do not exceed the rules.It is such a thing, when we understand many things in the world and come to an understanding with the world, our spirit can be harmonious, no pain, peace and joy, but not passive numbness.That is the pinnacle of the spirit, but in each era, the things encountered are different. For each person who has only a few decades of life, the way of weaving and shaping the three views may be different for them, and finally they can reach this state There may be few, but in each generation, this may be the culmination of our pursuit.

There is also a type of culmination in literature, which is theoretical literature. We explore the use of every brushwork, every novel writing method, inspiring techniques, and the exploration of spiritual shaping.Such things can win the Mao Dun Literature Prize, or the Nobel Prize in Literature.Under this, applied literature digs its own spiritual depth on the basis and inspiration, shapes it with words, and passes it on to others.Both traditional literature and online literature are in this category. There are deep speculators, but too little research is transmitted, and those who explore and transmit online literature are often lacking in speculation.

This is already a big country with 14 billion people studying.Before this, we have experienced a lot of problems. I used to be a person who tended to think in public, and I yearned for a state of democracy. In the past two years, I think that in such a rapid development, to maintain this country, Going back to the world’s second-largest stage, historically speaking, the current period may be an unimaginable China’s prosperity. A certain part of my heart began to feel proud of this country again, and some states returned to fifty cents. We can be sure of at least a part of the position, but I still yearn for democracy, but the yearning for democracy has become more complicated. The people are incapable of autonomy, so what is democracy?

But in any case, spiritual development is still at a low ebb.

Of course there are arguments for this.To correctly shape a person's three views, there is a set of methods. In ancient times, the Confucian method lasted for many years, and they had a lot of established experience. Their method of cultivating to a certain state has lasted for thousands of years—after the May [-]th Movement, we broke down the framework, and a new framework cannot be established. There is no mature system for how to cultivate a person.

Just like I learned from Lu Xun, I did see that some people are not good, there are bad people, why did I point them out, and I turned out to be the one with bad thoughts?Of course the teacher will say, I am doing it for your exams and the future, but in this way, problems will arise in the process of shaping the spiritual system.

We often encounter all kinds of incompatible things in society.

We just laugh it off and treat it as normal, one day, these things will seep into the details of your spirit bit by bit.Once I chatted with a friend on the plane. He was a rich man, but he said: "My most monthly income is 450 million, but I still feel unreliable. I can only make more money, but how much is the most How about practicality?"

450 million a month is still unreliable. For some people, this is moaning without illness, right?Are you hypocritical?But I think it must not be a question of money. He may not know it, but he can only continue to make money.

No matter whether you are poor or rich, I think that in our generation, there must be such and such deficiencies. We pursue something, but in the end, what we pursue cannot comfort us. Only at the end, we Feeling anxious and stressed by life.

I want to attribute my own problems to the weakness of the literary and spiritual circles in the past 30 years. In the best expectation, the environment I live in should give me a harmonious spirit, but I really can't blame each of them. Man, I can't even fault the literary world for the damage we've done before.But if we put it here, when the traditional literary circle continues to be impoverished and shrinking, the truth they say is less and less able to impress people. We only say "someone sticks to it" and "does their best". How to explain the sacrifices of the next generation?

Since there are so many good things, why not go to self-study to study entertainment, study transmission, and try to infect as many people as possible without compromising?

Some time ago, I didn’t know Tsinghua University or Peking University. There was a student who was led by a professor who studied online writing on the website. After a while, there were only a few hundred hits, commonly known as hitting the street. They were very surprised. The attitude of writing low-level things such as good web articles”—Of course, it may not be the performance of the students themselves, and the press release may also cause trouble.But their basic attitude is wrong in the first place. If the university can sincerely regard entertainment and content as literary factors with 50.00% importance each—I’m talking about sincere propaganda, maybe it will be less than ten years. The text circle will cease to exist.

However, for the upper-class people, this is a dangerous thing. It may be very common to stand on the side of entertainment or on the side of connotation. Only those who stand on the side of the mean may be the most vulnerable to blows.

However, this is a society of 14 billion people, and 14 billion people are spiritually impoverished. People laugh at housewives for watching soap operas, but never take the initiative to change her-thinking that this cannot be done.People with a high spiritual level are high above, as if waiting for the day when these housewives suddenly like their things, is it possible?After people leave school, there is no compulsion to study, and they can live a lifetime if they are mentally poor, but one day they suddenly feel that something is missing and the world has changed. On the other hand, even the school is shaping The compulsion of the human spirit is almost equal to zero.

To today's students, how much convincing appeal do the moral articles in textbooks have?One day I helped a friend read a paper (the friend is not the author), and one of the paragraphs is as follows (don’t read carefully):

"Higher education is at the highest level of education and plays a guiding role. The scale and level of a country's higher education development often become a symbol to measure the scale and level of the country's education development, and it is also a symbol of the country's science and technology, civilization and comprehensive national strength. The key to a country's material civilization depends on the country's level of science and technology. Similarly, the key to a country's level of science and technology lies in the scale and level of the country's education development, especially the development scale and level of higher education. Therefore, to improve the country's high The quality and level of education…”

I don't mean to say that there is a big problem with this literary theory, but there is one point that really makes me quite concerned. This may just be the author's negligence, but... Where is the spiritual civilization?When we talk about higher education, why do we focus on material civilization and not mention spiritual civilization?

I would be overdoing it by generalizing with a paper like this.But one thing is actually obvious, the shaping of spiritual civilization by higher education...is not as high as we imagined.

My friend's subject is related to education. When I talked about it with him, I said that our education is probably facing the biggest problem in history. The popularization of knowledge has not actually led to the improvement of people's education level. Because in ancient times, the word education was to shape the outlook on life and teach children how to behave.Nowadays, the proliferation of knowledge has led to the disappearance of authority. When a ten-year-old child says a sentence in the second grade and puts it on the Internet, 1 people who are also in the second grade will come and hug each other to keep warm.With the disappearance of authority, correctness also disappears. Any concept that a person develops in the process of growth will not get a chance to be corrected. With a divergent point of view, people can sit wherever they want without thinking, and there must be 1 people accompanying you sit.How will such a person grow up?

And the second half of my growing up was like this.

Schools can only impart knowledge, without the power to shape the outlook on life, society will be nothing.Those speculations and experiences that could have been used to shape people are hanging at the top, why can't they be added to the entertainment part, put them down, just like adding bait to attract people?

So in the end, I no longer want to be that kind of traditional writer. I still admire those who study theory, but in other directions, I think that the direction of this life can also be settled here, so I will Be a kitsch Internet author for a lifetime, and do this thankless joint exploration...

If after 30 years, someone says that you are responsible for my spirit being shaped like this by the world, I can only say that as one in 14 billion, as a writer who wants to learn from Lu Xun, I I also tried my best.

After such a lengthy pile of nonsense, many people will be bored, or have already been bored.But in any case, standing at 30, these things, whether they are in the second grade or stupid or whimsical, are why I became the root of my thinking, and they are what I want to stay at the node of [-] years old.

Back to original.

I am 30 years old, my life is good and bad, I still live in that small town, I often rack my brains when I write books, and I often get stuck, but because of the tolerance and support of book friends, life is passable after all.The health is not good, occasionally insomnia, tossing and turning.If you are in the Calvin period, your life will often lose its regularity due to anxiety.The housing prices in the town are not high. I saved a sum of money and bought a house by the lake a month ago. It is on the 25th floor and overlooks a good view. After a year, the house will be handed over to live in. My younger brother will not have to squeeze in I slept on the original balcony at home.

I go out for a walk occasionally, and if I'm in the right order, I can run and exercise.Sometimes I have one or two friends, sometimes I don’t. The most common pastime I do is to go to the cinema alone to watch new blockbuster movies. Although it’s on the busiest pedestrian street in the town, the cinema is often reserved. Horror movies have no interest.Since the whole life circle is only within a 15-minute walk distance, I don't know how to drive yet, and I don't plan to learn to drive and buy a car, so let's do it.

I often can’t treat my friends sincerely, because I have too many thoughts in my head, overuse my brain, and people with little contact, I often forget. Someone called me today to wish me a happy birthday. I have already talked to people many times. I I didn't save his phone number, and I forgot his name.This situation may not be the first time. Sometimes we greet each other for the first time, and then ask: "Who are you?" Friends, so I had to narrow my life circle, if you are my friend, please forgive me.

Of course, there are also friends with a stronger relationship. Sometimes they will go out for a trip together to relax and relax, but they never rush to the scenic spots.Don't want to rush.

In this way, it seems to be the whole of my life.

Compared to the time when I grew up playing in mud and breathing cement factory smoke, a lot of things are getting better.I often miss and think of the ruined life and the bad habits I developed in extremes and paranoia, but none of this can be changed.

So, instead of sighing and pitying yourself...

Why don't you do something.

Sincerely,

-

salute

Angry Bananas.

In the wee hours after my 30th birthday.

(End of this chapter)